Yo Harleyeaah

still kickin' fo the best.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

foolin around

I know i vowed to never do this again but
I guess this seems to be the only thing im good at

Got something that u need to kno
Be the realest ish that I never wrote
Cant hold it gotta let it go
Know that I mean every note

Yea yea
Listen babe

Let me start by saying that
The way i feel for u is never once changed
And the games ive played, mistakes i made
Leave me sorrier than youll ever u never kno
We got a problem babe i cant lie
Cuz lately i realize that i
Never knew that we was on the same playing field
Knew that there was wrong but we let it be
And i know u never knew when u say i do
That u would have to face all the pain u feel

And its killin me boy that u have to live with this
Live with the lies i tell
Live with the pain u feel
Knowing the girl u love is fooling around
Oh baby said its killin me boy
Said i just dont understand
Why u wanna be with this kind of girl damn 
Why would u love a fool with all the things i do
I know its hard for you
Hard for you to live with this

Trade memories from moments
Treat love to be lonely
Guess that's just the girl in me
Blame it on
When the nights time feel like the right time
And the spotlight feel like the right light
But its really just my fears
& still dont dry your tears when i
Say he aint you when i really love u more
When u say if its true
Why u do it for and i
I really dont
have no excuse
I break ur heart make u cry
I just wanna say goodbye

One More Chance Movie Trailer 2007

popoi: mahal na mahal kita ...at ang sakit sakit na ..
"damn ...

bash:ako nlng .. ako nlng ulit ..

popoi; she had me at my worst and u had me at ma best ...

DAmn hahahhaha la lng .. naalala ko lng let to

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

fact :)

One of the reason why people get so sentimental. it's because, memories are the the only thing that don't change. When everything else does. There are things in life that can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Some isn't always good, it becomes playful. When you met someone you learned to love, you thought it was destiny who made your paths cross, but what if making your paths cross is just part of the game that the playful destiny create? making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really meant to stay, but only destined to make you feel love and leave you when you've already fallen. It's not easy to sate a reason when you decide to leave your love. Some might think its it's just an excuse, some might not actually believe, some will blame you, some might even get mad at you, that they don't see is the fact that it hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt, especially when you can't actually state the reason why you have to leave. You can never own something that was never yours. So let's stop gripping on something we expect to last forever. FOREVER is aLIE. everything is transitory. So while you have something on your hand, put in mind that it's just borrowed. So it won't take you eternity just to let it go. When your feelings get strong for someone, it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart A TIME TO BREATH, a time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion. Because the saddest thing can happen is when one fall in love and the other wants nothing. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes be an illusion. There are times when i wish that i was limited to certain emotions, so that i'll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken. But the same thing means that i'll never know how it feels to love and be loved in return. The thought if it kind of scares me. To have a heart that's whole but numb, or heart that's broken but real. Someday we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to lose, get hurt, cry, and fight. Maybe when that time comes, we'll be laughing at our old dumb selves, realizing hot stupid we were to stand up for things we knew weren't really meant for us. But i guess learning takes time, and mistakes makes one's journey fun. Life is what we make it. Love makes the world go round. So let's live, love, and take whatever pain it brings. Though it;s hard to wait around for something that i know will never return. It's harder to stop when i know it's everything iv'e always wanted. But you know what? i'm glad............
=) with all this crazy things that happened? you've became strong and learned how to fight, and i guess that's my only contribution. thank you, take care, i'm just here.,. =) ALWAYS

Friday, September 24, 2010


It’s depressing! They make me want to sit with them and talk. It just really makes me think about life. Either they had someone and lost them or they just never did. Stories could be amazing even though they maybe be heartbreaking. It’s amazing to know how they feel about their daily life and feelings. I’m sure they think about it everyday. I know I would. Honestly, I’m scared to death that I could be one them and be lonely. I’d love to share most of my life with a significant other. I’d love a reason to live everyday. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s scared though.
 This is heart-breaking. ;(

Monday, September 20, 2010


What is something that is “going right” in your life?   Nothing is going perfectly right.  :/
Do you often have a lot on your mind? Always.
Do you ever talk to yourself?Not like, out loud lol. 
Does it bother you when people are not on time?Yes.
Did you see your bestfriend today?I don’t even know who that is anymore, to be honest.
Have you ever gotten flowers from a significant other?Oh, wow.  Not a significant other, but from people I was sort of with.
Have you ever been cheated on?I guess, if you want to consider him a real boyfriend lol.
What would happen if you found out you were being cheated on right now?No one can cheat on me since no one is going out with me lol.
Are you an outgoing person, or are you more reserved?I seem outgoing, but I’m actually really reserved.
What is your favorite sexual act?Erm, I’m not at all a sexual person, but okay.
Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon?Lol lol lol.
Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you?the black girl 
Best thing that happened to you this summer?All of the realizations I came to were pretty good.
Last concert you attended? none
Who is the biggest cunt you know?Lmfao, myself.  Nah.
Do you have off campus lunch?Not really.
When you ask for someone’s number and they don’t ask for yours back, do you feel shitty?I never ask people for their numbers.
Do you think the person that you last liked wants to be with you?Erm, no.  I don’t think he wants to be with anyone.
Is there anyone that you wish was out of your life?Everyone who’s really IN my life, I want there.  I don’t keep people I don’t want around around.
Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be?Yes.
Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?Idk, probably my Mom.  She’s a biiiig fan of voicemails.
How do you feel right now?Like I should go to bed.
How many people do you truly trust (not family)?Probably Jonathan, Brian, and Jordan, even when I don’t speak to them often at all.  But it’s safe to say that I don’t really trust anyone.
Do you find it in your heart to forgive?Sure?
What is your favorite kind of weather?Rainy.  Or like post-rain.  Sweater/cardigan weather.  Autumn.
Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?Just a friend.
When was the last time something bothered you?Right now.
Who in your life has hurt you the most?Outside of my family, honestly, probably Justin Lugo.  Only comparatively, though.  And only because I’ve done a pretty good job of not letting much affect me.
Are you drifting away from someone you were close with?I’ve already drifted from everyone who was close to me.
Anything you’re giving up on?Gave up on everything I needed to already.
When was the last time you cried?I don’t even remember.
Have you ever punched a guy?Not like seriously.
Do you need to say anything to someone?Probably, but I won’t.
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?Every day I go to school lol.
Have you ever broken someone’s heart?So they say.
How’s your life lately?Nothing special.
Can you keep a secret?No.  If you can’t keep your own secrets, what makes you think someone else can?
Are you open with your feelings to people?No.
Last place you hugged someone?The bus.
What were you like a year ago?Omg, so happy.  So worried, but so happy.
Do you wish someone would call you right now?Sure.
Who was the last person you stayed up with til 1am with on the phone?Jordan.
Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?Somewhat.
Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now?All of them?  Lmfao.  Mostly, affection or attraction, if those count.
Are you sad?No.
If your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you tonight, what would you do?Don’t have one.
How’s your heart lately?I hate this stupid question.
Last person you text messaged?Dennis.
What is your relationship status?Super super single.
Ever been kissed in the rain?Yes.
Do you judge people you don’t know?No, not really.  I actually don’t usually believe what anyone tells me about anyone, unless the person doing the telling is a really close and trusted friend of mine.  Still, I try not to judge people by the experiences that others have had with them.
Do you hate the last person you kissed?No, he’s got some major issues to work out though lol.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

but i lOve yOu .. HAMMPFT

he so swit ..

but i love u .. :(


Sunday, September 12, 2010




Letting go is not the hardest thing.. It’s more of moving on and finding yourself. Letting go is just the big step to take.. The bigger picture? Is taking the little steps in putting yourself back together.. Accepting other people’s love and giving it back.. Learning to gain back all the love and live again for yourself..
It’s not easy. I know. It never was and never will be.. But close doors won’t open by itself. It will always need a permission, an action, an outside force to act upon it. To open it. Just like your heart. Leaving it closed won’t mend it. You have to heal, open and let go to make it work again..
Realizations like this doesn’t require definite time to be thought of. It doesn’t need a perfect love to see what was lost. You don’t need a year, month or even a second to think about it. What you need is a heart and the will to stand up again from fallen relationships..
My present relationship isn’t perfect.. We have problems, fights and misunderstandings.. This may or may not be the forever that we both want.. But this is my now.. Our now.. And for this, I have to keep my heart intact and and beating.. Because now, I am inlove..

Friday, September 10, 2010

a tribute to the ones who went down fighting ..

Personal information:
The Young, Restless and Dangerous. Justice for Young Ivan
(as told to Gang Badoy by Ivan Padilla’s sisters, girlfriend, and mother)
FILED UNDER THE RETHINK MEDIA GROUP: an alternative media source.
(3 August 2010, Manila)

Without meaning nor wanting to, I am now tasked to write this piece.

Through the prodding of my niece who happens to be the friend of B, I found myself in the Correctional Institution for Women this afternoon listening to Malou Padilla and her daughters.

I just went to see ‘B’ and to make sure that she was okay at this time of grief. Naturally, the conversation revolved around their Kuya’s death.

While I write this with no set opinion on anything yet, I will try my best to recall everything we talked about this afternoon. If only to help the girls share what they know so far.

B is the younger sister of recently slain alleged carnap ring leader Ivan Padilla, 23. B told me about some factual errors the networks have been reporting about their family. In the interest of clarity, I shall enumerate the exchange between myself, ‘B,’ her older sister ‘M,’ Ivan’s life partner ‘A’and their mother Malou.

1. ‘M’ first tweeted that the networks have been reporting erroneous facts. She made it clear that her father is NOT in jail. Her mother is in the Correctional Institution for Women on a drug-related charge from over a decade ago. She has since turned to God and is now under Minimum watch. I saw her this afternoon and she did surprise me with her calmness peppered with her constant references to Psalm 23 whenever the subject turns to my awe of how she’s so composed during such a difficult time.

2. ‘B’ shared with me how while she was sitting in the Funeraria Filipinas receiving area – the news team of RPN 9 and TV5 were all asking the (what seems to be) the manager of the funeral parlor if they could shoot/film Ivan’s body inside the morgue. The manager would repeatedly say that under strict requests from the Padilla family members, no media person was to be allowed inside the morgue. ‘B’ even heard one someone “in white” from RPN 9 say, “Nasa kulungan naman parehong magulang niyan, wala namang magtatanong o magagalit.” (Both his parents are in jail anyway, so no one will ask or be offended.) They didn’t know who she was because she was hiding behind her companion and did not identify herself for fear of being mobbed with questions she wasn’t ready for.

3. ‘B’ shared how painful it is to read comments on news links online that spewed attacks against her brother –especially the ones that insinuate that ‘he deserved it.’ A trial is what everyone deserves, no matter what. Not death this way, she insinuates.

4. Speaking of death. Ivan’s life partner ‘A’ shared that she got to embrace him before they wheeled him in for the autopsy. She said she had a conversation with an Ospital ng Makati doctor (I’m assuming the attending physician at the time Ivan got there. A vaguely recalled that it could possibly be a certain Dr. Espina.) She found out that Ivan arrived Ospital ng Makati at 550am. Based on the stories of Ivan’s friend (either Mark or someone whose name starts with a J) said that they were in the vicinity of A.Venue along Makati Ave around 330am – and heard the shots from the supposed encounter around 420-430am. A handcuffed Ivan was even on video muttering something at an ABS CBN microphone while sitting or being assisted into the arresting officers’ vehicle. One question that came up for A, B, M and Malou is why did it take so long to get Ivan to Ospital ng Makati along Malugay, Bel Air Makati which is (at most) fifteen minutes away – less so since there was no traffic at that early hour.

5. The Inquirer today (Tues Aug 3 2010) reported that there were two police reports prepared. One at 6am (quote Senior Supt. Leo Francisco, head of the NCR Police Office or NCRPO -Intelligence Operation Unit) as saying that “Ivan Padilla and a companion were arrested.” And will both be presented to the media at the NCRPO HQ in Bicutan. Then half an hour later Francisco called up a radio reporter and while off air clarified that Padilla had actually died at the hospital. At 10am during an NCRPO initiated press con, the Inquirer saw the drafts of two (2) press releases “one saying Padilla was captured, the other saying he was killed.” (source: Inquirer Tues Aug 3, 2010 page A8)

6. Ivan Padilla DID take a shot in the head, the bullet still lodged in his forehead but he was still able to talk while handcuffed BEFORE being dropped off at the Ospital ng Makati. Now – on the subject of being ‘dropped off’ – yes, says ‘M’ – her Kuya was merely dropped off and that when she got to Ospital ng Makati – there was no one there. No police officers, no media men. She even thought they made a mistake and they drove to the other Ospital ng Makati branch and then subsequently drove back to the Malugay branch only to find him there registered as “Mister X.” Her aunt, in fact, had to call and be the one to identify Ivan (through his tattoo, lean built and prominent features) – so he has records written under a “Mister X.” Now – both sisters and A started talking at the same time asking me if Ivan was already declared as ‘arrested’ or ‘captured’ – then why not identify or give his name to the E.R. nurse or doctor? Why ‘Mister X’ – and they also all wanted to know if that was standard operating procedure – to merely ‘drop off’ a dying or even DOA suspect? (Is it?) I just said I didn’t know but I will ask. It seemed logical to me to assume that that wasn’t standard. I have witnessed a crime scene post-murder last year and I know for a fact that the SOCO and the QCPD (where the murder of my friends Alexis Tioseco & Nika Bohinc happened) were very conscious about identification and not leaving them until most paperwork was done. At least even just for the identification.

7. They told me that the addresses on Ivan’s ID’s are not theirs. They do not live in North Forbes, nor do they live in Alabang.

8. Most reports either out and out or implied at the very least – that he died during the encounter and most definitely because of the gunshot wound. They showed me Ivan’s death certificate – it said he had ‘No permanent address.’ Male. 23 years old. Filipino. Signed by the Makati Health Dept (Licensed, Salinas, MD) Signed by his sister (Padilla). Signed by the funeral director (Laksamana). Verified by a de la Cruz – OIC Reg Division. Signed by the licensed embalmer of Funeraria Filipinas, Makati City (Fuster). A stamp that said “AUTOPSY FREE OF CHARGE.” And cause of death: Asphyxia as a result of blunt force to the throat. (T 71) Signed by V. Nolido, MD (Medico Legal Officer)

9. I cannot surmise on anything on this piece. I was even warned by my lawyer to just ‘stay away’ because it is safer that way. But in the face of a mother, a beloved, and younger sisters of someone who was murdered yesterday – how can I not write this? This is not a judgment on anyone – nor is it to shed light on anything. It is merely a narration of (as close to fact) as possible. And everything here is either on paper OR narrated first-hand by a loved one of the victim. We can pass our judgment on Ivan Padilla but certainly we cannot deprive his family and friends the right to ask questions. Clarity is usually the only comfort one can get during a murder. Even if it is ugly – at least it is the truth.

10. The Padilla family would like to ask for the help of the Commission on Human Rights to at least look into the matter and perhaps answer even just a few more questions. Some light in this tough time will really help. Regardless of how Ivan lived – his family has a right to know exactly what happened at his time of death. (read less)
Personal interests:
:long drives
:out of town
:the beac
:the mountains
:he loved to read books
:he loved music