haRLii To Noh!

still kickin' fo the best.aint got no regrets behind mistakes ive done, keepin ma head up 'coz ive learned from those damn thangs!!, tryna do sumthin' good out of bad

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

me and u no US ( got it from other blogger )

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."


She works in a telecom company. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."


They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subicand never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!


She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."


The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-
boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan. It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa),wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang! naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set-up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala." Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong ki! lig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing,puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship,you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan kalulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebodyelse.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process. Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili.

You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy,a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mo ng magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya... 
almost... but not quite....


When u think of u'r past love,u may view it as a failure. However,when find a new love,u may view d' past as a teacher.

In d' game of love,it does not really matter who won or who lost. What is important is u know when to hold on and when to let it go! you know you really love someone when you want him/her to be happy. Even if his happiness means that you are not part of it.

Everything happens for d' best.If d' person you love does not love you back,do not beafraid to love someone else again,for you'll never know unless you give it a try.

You will never love a person you love unless you risk for love.Love strives in hurting.If you do not get hurt,you do not learn how to love.Love does not hurt all d' time.However,d' hurting is still there to test you,to help you grow.

Do not find love.let love find you.That is why it is called falling in love b-coz you do not force u'rself to fall.You cannot finish a book w/o closing it's chapters.

If you want to go on,then you have to leave d' past as you turn d' pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress.It is a lifetime ventuer in w/c we are always learning,discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold onand holding on when you need to let go,We lose someone we love only when we are distined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.

On falling out of love,take some time to heal and then get back on the horse.nevertheless,do not ever make the same mistakes of riding the same that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection;to live is to risk dying,to hope is to risk failure.However,risk must be taken b-coz the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement,to expose your feelings is to expose true self;to love is to risk not be loved in returned.

How to define love;fall but not stumble,be constant but not too persistent,share and never be unfair,understand and try not to demand,hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife.It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is suppossed to be the most wonderful feeling.It should inspire you and give you joy and strength, However,sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be.For all the heartaches and the tears,for gloomy days and fruitless years,you should give thanks,for you know,that there were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way,whether it leads toward you or away from you.Love is painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful,for only then you will experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt tyour heart,fill you w/ desire and tear you apart.Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.

If you are not ready to cry,if you are not ready to take the risk,if you are not ready to feel the pain,then you are not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we become afraid to fall inlove cause everytime we do we get hurt, and then i figured that is why it is called falling inlove.

Whatever happenned, do not give up!It is just a trial after all, God will no tgive you trials that you cannot handle.Have faith in yourself and cheer up.No matter what happens.I am always a friend of your back to support you.

When you decide to love,allow it to grow. when you promise to love,refuse to let it die.

something to think bout

The most destructive habit ............................ Worry
The greatest Joy ............................ Giving
The greatest loss ............................ Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work ............................ Helping others 
The ugliest personality trait ............................ Selfishness
The most endangered species ............................ Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource ............................ Our youth 
The greatest "shot in the arm" ............................ Encouragement 
The greatest problem to overcome ............................ Fear 

The most effective sleeping pill ............................ Peace of mind 
The most crippling failure disease ............................ Excuses 
The most powerful force in life ............................ Love 

The most dangerous pariah ............................ A gossiper 
The world's most incredible computer ............................ The brain 
The worst thing to be without ............................ Hope 

The deadliest weapon ............................ The tongue 
The two most power-filled words ............................ "I Can" 
The greatest asset ............................ Faith 

The most worthless emotion ............................ Self-pity 
The most beautiful attire ............................ SMILE! 
The most prized possession ............................ Integrity 

The most powerful channel of communication............................. Prayer 
The most contagious spirit ............................ Enthusiasm

everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong

in your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great,
everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.


ex n
the letter x. (That one variable you use in algebra that people always try to figure out :-P)
- to delete or cross out.
- a former spouse or partner

I am an ex. Most of the present partners of my exes either tries so hard to befriend me (or stalk if I may dare to say so) or totally tries to erase me from their boyfriend's life. I usually dont understand why an ex is seen as a threat to the present. After all, the only role that I'm going to be in their boyfriend's life is a memory. And we have shared a meaningful piece of our lives together during our time, which I don't think you will be able to set aside just like that. So it wouldn't hurt if exes still stay as friends.. right?


I never understood the feeling until I was in that very situation. I love someone.. He has an ex (which he stays very good friends with)... and for the first time in my entire life, I felt weird about it. My belief about "staying friends with an ex" was greatly compromised and shaken. I have never felt so jealous in my life. A simple (harmless and friendly) conversation that would not normally mean anything to me, suddenly becomes a big deal. Memories of them together stings like hell (photos, SMS, letters, songs, and the likes). I've been so paranoid, so praning about everything that I oftentimes lose my sense of reason. Who would have thought that a year ago, I was furious with my ex-boyps current monster gf (sorry, evil alert) when she didnt want me to stay friends nor have any communication with my ex. I mean,what the eff!? I am a part of his life, and nothing, not even you, can change that!

I am a proud person. And sometimes, I dont want to contradict the things that I have always believed in. I have tried different reasons to convince myself that there's nothing to feel bad about. She's an ex, and she will always ought to be that way.. Their book has ended and it'll be forever close..."

...and no... it didnt work... No matter how persuasive I perceive myself to be. Talk about a major oxymoron.

I am having trust issues. Protective? I would say yes. Over doing it? Probably. Who knows what an old flame can do, agree? But when you're in a whirlwind romance, you wouldn't want to let go of that one person whom you won't need to have pretentions with. I was just plain, boisterous, loud and crazy whenever I am with him. With that overwhelming feeling, you just want to let the whole world know he has you! Wala nalang eepal...

I know I owe it greatly to myself to find my own security.. to get over whatever issues I have with the ex... but it still takes two to tango. I know it is not possible to do it on my own. Two things can happen if I do that. Either I give up and move on or be numb, and totally suppress whatever negative feeling I have and develop it into hatred... neither of the two seems like a good option for me to go for. Because when that happens, no matter how much he means to me, one can only take on so much... and when that time comes, you'll realize that love isn't always enough...


It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT na├»ve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.


I don't think moving on is just for us to forget the bad past. In my opinion, moving on simply means to live in the present.

God can allow more wonderful things to happen in our lives if we could just move on.

In the Bible, we're always reminded to remember the great things God has done in the past, but that is so we will not be afraid to face the challenges ahead of us.

"Watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." - Deutronomy 4:9
If we stay on shore and just reminisce the good ol' days, we're missing out on more great stuff the Lord has planned for us. Worse, we could be disobeying God and ignoring his calling just because we have a "badge" to show.
It's one thing to be grateful, but clinging on to the glorious days kind of hits me as Pride.

Lord, thank you for being with me through my past. Help me to embrace new challenges from you that could help mold my character. I believe that you will still see me through like how you did in the past.